OH HOW LIKE SPOILED, SELFISH CHILDREN WE ARE . . .

Are there any of God’s laws I can honestly say I haven’t broken? Some of them a little less shattered than others perhaps, but broken just the same. Yet, I keep my sins hidden safely away, hoping no one will ever notice. Oh, yes, I know God sees everything, but sometimes I can almost forget that little point. I can almost fool myself into believing maybe this time He didn’t notice. Better yet, try to make myself believe maybe it’s not such a big deal after all. I mean, I’m still standing. He didn’t turn me into a puff of smoke.

Like a spoiled child who doesn’t want to clean her room, I try not to really clean up my life. I hide things under the bed, stuff them into closets and dresser drawers, hoping none of the edges will stick out where someone could see them. May it never be that someone actually takes a closer look, or opens one of them, exposing what I have tried so carefully to hide away.

But like any good parent, God knows His children, especially when they’re trying to con Him. To add even more audacity to it, sometimes I’ll even try to pull a ‘Hardy’ on Him. I make wrong, stupid, selfish choices, then cry out to God, ‘Now look what you’ve gotten me into and just how do you intend to get me out of this one.’

If I could only learn to appreciate the full extent of His love, His grace. If He were only a 'just' God, He would have turned me into that puff of smoke long ago, but He is so much more than just. He is loving and merciful. He is grace itself.

I accepted Christ as my savior years ago. That part was actually easy. The real problem is that I have a hard time dealing with His lordship. It’s so easy to accept His forgiveness, but being told what to do is quite another thing.

What a pitiful creature I am, to fuss and rant and rave about the injustice of it all. Like that child who didn’t really clean her room, I try to bluff my way through, make excuses for the stuff sticking out. I comfort myself by saying, 'I’m as good as I can be after all, I’m only human'.

I am so thankful that He doesn’t fall for any of that. Like any good parent. He insists on the best. Not for His benefit, but for mine. He wants what’s best for me and no matter how much I whine and cry and pout. No matter how much I stamp my feet or beg, He will do whatever is necessary to make sure I turn out to be the best that I can be. He will accept no less than perfection and He will do whatever it takes to instill that perfection in me. He will give up whatever He must. He will sacrifice anything to see me grow up to be just like Him. -- ©2000 Rachel Whelan